J&J Strike Again: Laughing Hysterically

We got a call today from the principal at Jonson's school. He wouldn't talk to me but was trying to reach mom to discuss an "incident" with Jonson. After he told me Jonson was ok, I realized that what he meant was that Jonson was in trouble. And, from the grave sound in his voice, big trouble.

So here I am, sitting at my desk, calling mom frantically to have her call the principal and imagining all kinds of horrendous scenarios in which Jonson mauled a classmate, touched someone's boobs, or otherwise committed some terrible child felony. Of course, she won't answer a single phone call. I think the stress I was feeling must have given Jacey an adrenaline boost because he immediately started hopping around, making me feel like I'd puke. 20 minutes later, mom finally called me, then called the principal to find out that....

drum roll, please...

Jonson and another boy were sent to the office for laughing hysterically in the cafeteria during lunch!

Now, if that's the worst he ever does, this parenting thing should be a breeze! I can't wait to get home this evening and find out what was so hysterically funny to the little turkey.

Baby Chronicles: Hiccup & Fat Lady Feet

Well, I am just a few days beyond my 35 week mark and with 5 weeks to go until the due date, I'm pretty much ready for this baby to arrive. I have been having good bursts of energy that have been helping me do some much needed nesting and most of the things I can think of to be done are pretty much done. No, I have not packed my bag for the hospital because Yayo was worried that I might have the baby before the shower. Since I also had that dream that the baby came on the day that I packed my bag, I've decided to wait to pack until after the shower, thus easing all of our worries. :)

I am starting to find work more and more difficult, if not for the physical strain it requires then for the emotional strain. The last few days have been busier than usual and I find myself not dealing with the demand as effortlessly as I once have. In short, I've been going home just about every day in tears. I think my days working are numbered, indeed. But, we'll have to see what the doctor says about that on Tuesday.

The only way to describe my current look and walk is lumbering. I am huge. I mean, really, really huge. And, I'm not exaggerating. My sister saw me on Tuesday, put her hands on my belly and said, "Oh my gaaaaaaawd!" A guy at work said, "Are you ok? You gonna pop?" Jacey seems to be packing it on and my belly is really showing it. Thank goodness for all the maternity clothes Nan isn't wearing anymore!

The newest bit of joy is the big, fat swollen feet and ankles. We call these tankles. Some days are worse than others but it appears that some grossly overweight woman has taken her feet and stuck them onto the end of my legs. Not pretty. Not even a bit. Doesn't feel good either. I have given up any additional salt intake though and have done pretty descent at sticking to it. It helps some but not near enough. You cannot imagine how dirty you feel when your feet are swollen. Russ has been a doll though massaging and washing my feet.

In other news, Jacey is as active as ever. Whoever said he'd slow down as we got closer to the due date and he ran out of room is a liar. He's as busy as ever. Today, he has had hiccups several times. This is a very, very strange feeling since he's laying down very low in my uterus. I can feel the little hiccs in my bladder and they jar me so much that I sort of feel nauseous. Poor thing. If they jar me, I can't imagine how they must feel to him!

Random: Dog Uses Powers for Evil, Not Good

Russ and I have really been having trouble with our little Lhasa Apso, Dos. When we try to leave for work in the morning or head to bed at night, he makes a beeline for the doggie door before we can capture him and put him in his crate. Then, he hunkers down behind the shed in the backyard and won't come out.

I have gotten pretty creative with my mornings, beating him to the back door and installing the cover over the doggie door so he can't escape. At night, however, Russ and I have been having to get even more creative. So, night before last, Dos was sitting under Russ's desk when I told Russ "Sneaky, sneaky"--my signal to grab Dos before he tried to escape. Russ captured him, no problem, and delivered him to his crate.

Last night, however, I told Russ, "Sneaky, sneaky" and Dos came shooting out of the office headed straight for the back door. His tail was up and I'm pretty sure the wind was in his hair with "Born Free" playing in the background. That is, until I stepped in front of him, blocking his pathway to the doggie door. His tail dropped to the grown and he had a defeated look as Russ carried him to his crate.

I do have to say that I've noticed this bad behavior more since I spent several days away from home with my sister in New Braunfels when the baby came. Russ won't admit it but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the fact that Russ spoiled both dogs by letting them sleep in my spot during the nights I was away. Bad Russ!

Thank goodness the English language is so vast because I have a feeling that Russ and I might have to come up with a new signal each night to keep our smart dog from catching on. If only he'd use his powers for good, not evil!

Baby Chronicles: 34 Weeks and Counting

Well, folks. It's getting closer and closer to the time when I will be relieved of my pregnancy duties only to take on a whole new set of duties. I can say that I am TOTALLY over the pregnancy duties but am terrified of the baby duties. Seeing Nan and how tough the first few weeks have been has been a dose of reality. The good news is, so far it seems that the first couple of weeks are the toughest, which works out really good since the first couple of weeks are also the most precious. I'm hoping that Jacey's cuteness will keep me from running screaming naked down the street. :)

We had our 34-week checkup yesterday and all systems are go. I only gained 1 lb during the last 3 weeks, for a total of 4 lbs the whole pregnancy. I'm still measuring small (or so the doctor says--I feel and look like a mama cow!) and it's been 6 weeks since they measured Jacey (he was also small) so the doctor wants to go ahead and do a sono in 2 weeks so that we can get a better idea of how big the baby is. I'm totally stoked that we'll get to see him again before we see him!

I'm feeling very tired again. It's not the same kind of tired I felt early in the pregnancy though. It's more of a bone tired exhaustion that sleep and rest don't really touch. Of course, all the nesting isn't helping matters since I've been wanting to stay up late every night to work on my to-do list. Poor Russ has been a real trooper as much of the list is stuff that I can't really do. He earned his keep over the weekend, installing lights and dimmers and moving furniture, etc. We're getting very close to being ready for this child.

Nan predicted that Lillie would come early and she was right. She's now saying that Jacey is coming in 3 weeks so we shall see. I did have a dream last night that I got a wild hair one morning before work and packed my suitcase. In my dream, this turned out to be a good thing since I went into labor at work that day. Of course, now I'm terrified of packing the damn thing since it might mean Jacey will show up too soon! haha Dr. Collins says he'd be fine to come now though and that if I went into labor at this point, they wouldn't do anything to stop it. I think this is supposed to soothe me but it also terrifies me!

J&J Stike Again: They love the ladies!

Jonson has recently become quite interested in the female anatomy. It's mostly boobs he likes. Poor kid... he'd murder me if he knew I were blogging this. When I think of it, I probably shouldn't blog it at all but it was too hysterical not to.

So, last night, Jonson was asking me about Victoria's Secret catalog and what it is. I explained to him that it is a catalog for ladies that has pictures of women in their underwear because they sell bras and panties. He turned and said something to his brother along the lines of letting Joseph see a Victoria's Secret catalog. I explained to Jonson that Victoria's Secret catalog was not appropriate for 5 year old boys to which Jonson replied, "Tika, it's just ladies in their underwear!" Then, Joseph replied (in his best/worst dirty old man voice), "OOOoooooh, Ladies!?! I LOOOOOOVE LADIES!"

Teenage years, here we come! How ever will we survive!?!

Baby Chronicles: SeaWorld + 8 months pregnant = INSANITY

The boys are both on Spring Break this week and have sadly not gotten to go anywhere special. Of course, there are hundreds of millions of kids everywhere that take Spring Break at home doing nothing but being bored so that when they return to school, they return with a new appreciation for the routine and structure. However, I don't remember a Spring Break during my childhood that my parents didn't make special by taking us to do something fun. The boys shouldn't have to spend their Spring Break at home the whole time either. So, off we tromped to SeaWorld in San Antonio. And tromping it was.

Over the last few months as the baby has gotten bigger, Russ and I have abbreviated many of our standing up activities... grocery store and shopping expeditions don't take near as long as they once did because I'm just not capable of marathon walking. So, why then did I presume that walking around an amusement park, battling loads of people and 80 degree temps, not to mention 2 wild animal boys, was a good idea?!? It is clearly because I am certifiable. It is a wonder that Jacey didn't plop right out, seeing as how my hips and legs were blobs of mush after just 5 hours!

Still, we had a good time. The weather was gorgeous and I think it did us all good to get out and get some fresh air.