Baby Chronicles: The Test

Today is our Anniversary. 3 years ago today, we were married on a beautiful, crispy-cool day in Estes Park, Colorado. I am 6 days late to get my period though and I have the sneaking suspicion that I may be pregnant. I took a pregnancy test last Saturday but the results were inconclusive. I haven’t said a word to Russ though because the poor boy will get his hopes up AND he’ll start bugging me to take a test. After I dropped him off for work, I stopped by Walgreens and picked up one of their expensive digital tests. It’s a 2 pack.

I hid the test in my pocket and went to the ladies room here at work. The test said it would take 60 seconds to appear in the window but after about 5 seconds, there is a big Pregnant reading! OMG! I really don’t know what to think! Trash the test. Go back to your desk. Act normal. Act N O R M A L!

OMG! I’m not gonna get a single thing done today. Not a single thing. Ok, breathe, breathe. I have to tell someone. I want to call Russ but no, I need to do something special. It’s our anniversary… can you believe the anniversary present I’m gonna give him!?! Haha Awesome!

Ok, I told my sister. She’s excited. It doesn’t feel real. I’m very, very skeptical. It’s only one test. It could be wrong. Breathe. Breathe. Act normal! Called the doctor. Need to get in to see her next week. She says the OTC tests are as reliable as the test they do in the office. The technology is so far advanced. Weird. She said Congratulations, you’re gonna be a mom! WTF!?!

Can’t stand it anymore. I’m going to take the second test. This time, I have an idea. I think I will try and save this test so that I can show it to Russ this afternoon. Wouldn’t that be a smart way to tell him?!? Just hand him the test. Women have been doing it for ages. It’s genious in its simplicity. That is, if it comes up positive. Oh no, what if it’s not. What if the first one was wrong?!?

Back from the bathroom. Second test same as the first. We’ve got lift off. Still, I’m skeptical. It’s just not real. Ok, maybe I should go to Babys R Us after work and buy Russ one of those baby backpack things were you can put the kid on your back? The rest of his Anniversary gifts are geo caching related stuff (in leather, of course, since 3^rd anniversaries are leather). The back pack is a good idea. He’d love it. He’d be so stoked to think of a permanent geo caching partner.

No, the backpack is too expensive. And, it’s one of those things you need to try on. And, it’ll mean I’ll have to keep this secret longer since I’ll be wasting time shopping instead of telling him. I checked the test stick though. It’s been a couple of hours and the reading is gone. Damn digital tests! Guess the results don’t stick around forever like the plain old kind. Ooooh, I have an idea!

I’m just about to head over to pick Russ up from work. I stopped by Walgreens first though and bought a test, a baby bottle, a card, and a gift bag. The clerk looked at me like I was nuts after I paid for the swag and asked where their restroom was. He must of thought I was some crazy lady… knowing I was headed to their pot to take the test. I put the positive test into the bottle, signed the “you’re gonna be a dad” card, and put the whole shebang into the gift bag. Now, let’s just hope the reading stays long enough for me to get over to Dell so Russ can read it!

There he comes, lumbering along at a slow pace. OMG! Could he possibly walk any slower?!? What if the test reading isn’t showing anymore. Would it be rude to honk?!? Yeah, that’s over the top. Ok, I’ll wave him over. Maybe that’ll light a fire under him. Uhoh, here comes another guy. Don’t talk to him, don’t talk to him. Whew! Close call.

Russ saw the gift bag sitting in his seat and refused to open it. WTF!?! Seriously. He even argued with me saying he wasn’t opening his gift until I open mine. I had to twist his arm a bit and insist but he finally opened it. He looked in, saw the bottle, and started digging through the tissue. He ignored the bottle!?! OMG! I finally had to tell him that it was INSIDE the bag… the only thing INSIDE the bag. When he pulled out the bottle and looked at the test, he said, “Holy Crap! I have to be responsible now!” hahaha