Baby Chronicles: Jalepeno Nightmares

Last night, I dreamed that I had the baby. It was a girl. She was tiny (about the size of Caroline when she was born premature). They whisked her away right away and Russ went with her. I stayed in the room, all alone for an hour before I got concerned and went to find them. I found Russ with the doctor and the baby in a surgery room. The baby was dead. I threw a straight up fit for them to let me hold her and rock her. Finally, I totally lost it and they made me go back to my room. I slept for a bit and when I woke up, they were wheeling the baby into the room on the isolette, as if the whole ordeal before had never happened. Except, this time, the baby was HUGE. My tiny little infant hardly bigger than my hand before was now the size of Olivia is now (she’s more than 7 months old!) They put the baby on my lap and it started going for my boob to nurse. I was totally freaking out. I was yelling that the baby was trying to EAT me! I was begging them to send in a lactation specialist and they told me no. Then, the baby was dead again and I woke up. What a crazy, bizarre dream! I wonder what it means… other than that I ate too much Mexican food too late!